These Lips Weren't Made for Kissing

Girl, stop trying to kiss my lips. That is unacceptable. I don't care how cute I am. This manly face doesn't want any girly lips kissing it. Stop it. Stop it, Girl.

Hitchcock

I am pure thespian. I am certain I will be nominated for a best actor award in the coming year. Look how much I look like a beautiful black and white artsy movie poster!

If you can't appreciate true beauty then click away from this page, humans. This is the face of an immortal here.

Towering Beastie

As you humans can see, I am better than all of you. You can clearly tell this by my snooty expression and my general tallness.

No, Girl! Don't tell them you put the camera under my chin while I was sleeping hanging off the couch! That story is highly untrue and I am royalty. I have Chinese lineage as a wealthy lap dog's ancestor. Do not speak otherwise. You are terrible, Girl. I do not approve.

Little Pink Tongue

I am showing you my beautiful tongue. I hope you humans are jealous of how perfect it is. Yours is not as cute. Your tongue is weird. That is why dogs are cute with their tongues out. Because we are far superior. I am just more superior than the rest.

Will you ever return?

Oh, Girl! I think Mummy left us forever! I am so sad. My little face is smushed into the couch in anticipation, but I think we will have to fend for ourselves.

Girl, please go to store and buy me burger. That will tide me over.

I don't think you understand the severity of the situation, Girl! I am not being overdramatic!

Uncurled

Oh, Mummy! I forgot to curl my tail and everyone was taking pictures of my buns! :(

Mummy! This isn't supposed to happen! I forget sometimes, okay?! Leave my beautiful buns alone!

Beached Whale

Look at me!

I am so tired and Girl says mean things like that I am a sea creature trapped on shore!

Girl has no idea how hard I work.

I nearly climbed onto her bed with almost no help.

I also had to find the right position to lay in.

Those are difficult things.

I don't know why Girl insists that she gets space because I am pretty sure I need more beauty sleep.

Bath Day

Oh, Mummy! Girl gave me a bath today and I have become beautiful again! So lovely! So prepared for the world to see my radiance!

Lazy Sunday

Girl: Puggy, you want to go outside?

Me: No.

Girl: But you should go potty.

Me: Zzzzzzzzzz.....

Let's sit outside

Me: Girl, I would like to go outside.

Girl: Okay, we can do that.

Me: I want to sit on the swing.

Girl: Sure.

Me: Girl, please put me back in the house. I don't like this.

Good morning!

Me: Good morning!

Girl: Hello. You're awake finally?

Me: Girl, that is rude. Of course I am awake!

Girl: Puggy, it's lunch time. You made us both stay in bed until after noon o'clock.

Me: Yes.

Girl: So it's not morning anymore.

Me: But it is my morning. Can we have breakfast?

Girl: Okay, I'll get you some dog food. 

Me: I want eggs.

Girl: I don't have time to make you eggs. I have to get going.

Me: I want eggs.

Girl: No. You're getting pug foods.

Me: I want eggs.

Girl: No.

Me: Eggs are pug foods.

Girl: Eggs are not pug foods. Especially not today.

Me: Hey, Girl?

Girl:What?

Me: I want eggs.

So Gangsta

Me: I am so 'hood. Straight gangsta.

Girl: Puggy, you're wearing a hood.

Me: Girl, I know I am in a hood, but I am pretty sure that is how you achieve the title of being so 'hood and gangsta. I might throw gang signs if I can figure out where they sell them. It seems a waste of money to throw them though.

Girl: They don't sell gang signs like they sell old vintage signs. You're a little confused on the concept.

Me: Girl, I am pretty sure I am more experience in this. Drive me to the store, please. Also, please pay for the signs. Also, can we get a burger on the way home? I would like a burger. ...Actually, can we get the burger first, and then get the signs, and then get a burger on the way home?

Feral

Human Girl asked me a question a while back. She said, "Puggy, do you want to be feral?"

I answered," Oh, yes, Girl! I could run about like the beast I am!"

Human Girl laughed because I eat canned food. She commented to Mom that I eat lamb from a can, but in my mind I am actually running the Scottish countryside eating their sheeps.

Girl, this is not in my mind. I am a wild beast.

See the wilderness in my face? See the ferocity in my eyes?

Girl still took my collar off on that day though and never put it back on. Dad puts it on to take me for a walk, but Girl prefers my harness.

Girl, I am feral and you better be aware this means I might eat the kitties.

When they stop being scary.