Out of hand

Girl, this is out of hand. This is just plain stupid. I make a smug face and you say I want kisses.

This is dumb, Girl.

I think I deserve some eggs for the torment.

More pug kisses

Girl, you are most unfair. More kiss pictures?!

I will put my butt on you and give you toot kisses.

How does that sound, Girl?

Putting words in my mouth

Girl! Why do you put captions on my photos? I would never say to kiss my face!

I don't like face kisses.

You are mean, Girl.

GACK! I'M DYING!!

GIRL! STOP KISSING ME! STOP!!!! NOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!

Love Boat

Oh, baby, baby. I'm the love boat captain of your heart.

Maybe I'm born with it...

Maybe I'm born with it. Maybe it's Maybelline.

I could probably do a mascara review. I think I'd get pretty good coverage on my little white chin.

Hercule Poirot

I will find ze killer on ze Orient Express. After all, I am ze famous Belgian detective, Hercule Poirot. Agatha Christie wrote about me and my spectacular moustache. You may stare all you like. I am a very handsome sir.

Oh, ladies, are you not enchanted by my wonderful face? Please lean in and I will tell you ze solution to the mystery of me.

When you lean in, do not be afraid to provide treats.

Not-so-stupid friend

Okay, I liked him better than I thought.

Although, I ate his leg and ear off after a couple weeks.

These Lips Weren't Made for Kissing

Girl, stop trying to kiss my lips. That is unacceptable. I don't care how cute I am. This manly face doesn't want any girly lips kissing it. Stop it. Stop it, Girl.